Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Importance of Self Improvement

Quite often we all get wrapped up in our fears and insecurities, so much so that we find ourselves wishing that we could be someone else. When we feel like this we start to believe that most people are better than us, this of course is not the case and the truth is that most people are more scared than we are.




Picture this; you are having a night out at the local bar, you see this quite attractive person sitting alone in a corner sipping a glass of wine. You think wow; this person appears to be so calm and full of confidence. However if you were able to read this persons mind, you would see a whole lot of negative thoughts. You might just be amazed to read in this persons thoughts, "is everyone talking about me, I wish people wouldn't look at me, why wont people approach me and talk to me, I wish I looked as good as them."



You see a young and vibrant business entrepreneur and think "Wow... what else could he want from life?" If only you realized that when he looks in a mirror he thinks "I hate my eyes, I wish my friends would talk to me, I hope mum and dad can sort out their differences".



Isn't it strange? When we look at other people we envy them and wish we could be them, at the same time they look at us and think the very same things. We compare ourselves to other people and become consumed with insecurities, and those other people are doing the same thing when looking at us. We all suffer from low self esteem; we lack self confidence and eventually we believe that self improvement is impossible to achieve.



You will always be the last person to realize that you have some bad habits, such as biting your nails, perhaps you have a foul mouth, and maybe you talk too much. Everyone around you will notice these bad habits, and unless a friend points this out you will continue to be very irritating.



A friend of mine has a bad habit of talking a lot, in fact that is an understatement. She never gets tired of talking. And it would appear that in most conversations, she is the only one interested in the things she has to say. Because of this our other friends always try to avoid any group she is in and she has not noticed how much she has become handicapped socially. This bad habit also begins to affect others in her social group.



A key to benefiting from self improvement is to discuss your problems and fears with a trusted friend. Talk to someone who you feel comfortable with, open up to this person, discuss all of your fears and anxieties. Do not be afraid to ask difficult questions, such as, "do you think I am bad mannered?", "Do I always come across as being argumentative?", "Do I talk too loudly?", "Do I have bad breath?", "Do you think I am a boring person?" Doing this, the person you are talking with will understand that you are willing to improve yourself. Be willing to accept comments and criticism, do not give answers like, "you're exaggerating!" Open you're heart to this person and you may find that you will also be helping you're friend to improve him or her self.



A song by Whitney Houston says "Learning to love your self is the greatest love of all." This is quite true. For you to love others you must first of all learn to love your self. Remember, if you do not have love in your heart then you cannot give love.



Before trying to instruct people on how to improve themselves, show them that you yourself have become successful and are now a much better person thanks to self improvement. Self improvement can and does make us better people, we can then go on to give inspiration to other people, and then we find that everyone else will follow.



Stop thinking of yourself as being a second rate person. Get rid of those negative thoughts, such as, "Why can't I be rich... I wish I was slim" and so on. Accepting yourself for who you really are is the first step to self improvement. You must stop comparing yourself to other people; doing so will only give you even more reasons to envy them.



We all have insecurities to deal with. None of us are perfect. We always wish for better things, better looks, better bodies, etc. Life does not need to be perfect for you to be happy. Self improvement is a way to a better life, to being contented and learning to love yourself. You do not have to shout to the world that you are perfect. When you begin to improve yourself, you will start to feel happy and you will be filled with contentment.

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